Just a sad story


Written on June 22, 2008 – 8:25 pm | by aye-ssah

Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It’s been two
years since she
had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not
much has changed.
Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel
dropped her off. She
was on her way to New York to pursue a career in
Wall Street.

"Promise me something will you? Please don’t get
married until I come
back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her
backpack.

"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise
me you won’t run off
with some nerdy economist in the next two years."

"Let’s see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I’ll call you as
soon I get to New
York."

That was her last memory in this place. The warm
Manila air made her
feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is

the first time
in two years she’ll be seeing Miguel again. She
was thoughtfully going
through the immigration counters, thinking of how
much she missed
seeing Miguel. How different would he be now?
Sure he sends her
regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the
busy person that she
had always been, she didn’t get the time to chat
with him and buy a
webcam.

She’s finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She
wondered. "Ah there!" she
exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan
Patrol parked near the
exit. TGW926. Yup, that’s Miguel alright. Her heart
was leaping ahead
of her as the driver got off.

"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she
hugged him back. It was
warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel
his
hug.

"Let me get those." He said pointing at her
luggage. "Then we’ll have
more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel’s cellphone rings. Mama,
the name flashes on the
screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She’s been waiting for
you. She insist that
we go straight to her after I pick you up form the
airport. She also
insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel
was talking about her
mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother
wanted a daughter. She
would often tell Bea that since she doesn’t have a
mom anymore, she
should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She
loved Bea as if she were
her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?… ah opo.
Miguel already told
me. Sige po. Okay po. I’ll see you later." She turns
off the phone and
looks out the window. The phone rings again, this
time the name
"Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar."
He was quick. He got a
hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah.
Pauwi na. I’m with
her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We’ll see
you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See
Sugar? Who is Sugar,
anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn’t keep
herself from asking. "Sugar
ha?"

"I’ll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa
bahay. By the way,
kamusta na si Edward?" "Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na
iniwan mo sa New York?
Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi
kita niligawan eh.
Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel
has met Edward when he
came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He
seems a nice guy.
Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea
would end up with. He is
actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of
things about you. Parang
may balak ata…"

"Balak na?"

"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like
he was going to
propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris’, 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman
enters the living
room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm
smile and two open
arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and
kissed her on the
cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na
kita. Pinakain ka ba nito
si Miguel?" "Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much
has
changed in this house.
She remembers spending her college days in this
house. She remembers
sinking into Tita Doris’ arms when her mom died.
She remembers only
good things about this woman. She can’t
remember a time when she had
been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her
own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin
mo ‘wag padalos-dalos
magdesisyon."

"Po?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I’ll tell her everything
tomorrow." Miguel
interrupted his mother before she can spill the
beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it’s okay I’ll go rest now." She
hugged her, and
proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her
carrying her
luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si
Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang
worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They
were both standing as
the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it’s really
good to be back in
this house. I’ll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris’ 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight
flooding her bedroom. She
was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed
sheets and took a nice,
cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the
garden having brunch
with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."
"Iha, I’ll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise
me something,
though. Whatever happens you’ll always be my
daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly
serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend
sounded like he was
going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement
ring. She looked at
Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer,
Miguel showed up. With
him is a woman she had not seen before. She was
of medium frame,
shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar,
my fiance`." It felt
as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His
what? Blood rushed to
her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm.
She couldn’t
swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per
minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then
suddenly white as
with shock. "I’m sorry, Sugar but this is quite a
surprise. Miguel has
never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she
said as she looked at
Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita
Doris, she looked back
as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I’m keeping my promise. I’m
getting married on
Saturday. O di ba you’re here so in essence I’ve
kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel
and congratulated him.
She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch
here, girl. Take good
care of him or else I will snatch him under your
nose." It sounded as
if she was just joking, turning over a very important
possession to
it’s next owner. In the deepest recesses of her
person, she knew she
meant it.

"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar
said, smiling at
her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I’m sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea’s favorite Filipino
dishes. She and Sugar
spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at
Bea’s and Miguel’s
college photos and yearbooks. She found out that
Sugar likes most of
the things she does. They both came from the
same high school. As she
tried to get to know Sugar better during their
afternoon chat, she
realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel,
she also seemed
like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked
about the wedding
details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara.
They like almost
the same places, the same styles, the same
shops. She told Sugar they
should do shopping marathon together. Had it
been another day, she
would be telling herself that this is really a great
opportunity to find someone who
understands her shopping needs. Except that this
woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was
Miguel’s fiance`. Bea’s phone rings. The name
Boyfriend flashes. "You should really get that"
Sugar told Bea. "Yeah, I guess I should. Hello?
Yes? I’m good. I’m here at Miguel’s. Oh I have in
front of me Sugar, Miguel’s fiance`." The words
almost got stuck in her throat, but she still
managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I’ll call
you later. I have very good news for you." Miguel
sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them
and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time
the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and
Miguel looked at each other then looked at their
own hands. He answered "Of course not. Bea and
I were never like that." "As in?" Sugar
inquired. "LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too
much to handle for me. I can’t keep up with her.
She’s never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea
and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his
dimples gloriously show. "I guess that’s the way
for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a
little hint of disappointment. "Okay lang yun.
Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still
smiling. "Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call
him." Bea left the garden and went up to her room
to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes.
The answer is Yes." The wedding went well. It
was one of the most elegant weddings she had
seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was
a very beautiful, blushing bride. "I, Miguel, take
you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and
apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict
and tranquility, asking that you be no other than
yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I
do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find
us." Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She
slowly got up. Tears streaming down her flushed
cheeks. Bea is once again on her way to the
airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a
wedding ring on his left finger. "Hay, here we go
again. I’m driving you to the airport. Kailan na
naman kaya tao magkikita?" "Ewan ko. Tell me
something," her tone all too serious. "What was it
that you love about Sugar? How did you know she
was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano?
Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days
diba?" "You know what I love about her? The
same things I loved about you before. The only
difference is that she’s not as ambitious as you
are. When you left for New York two years ago, I
knew I don’t have a place in the life you’ve chosen.
I don’t blame you for that. You’re good in your field
and I thought to myself that it’s your right to move
on without me. Moving away was a decision you
made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you
might nag me about it but I found the better
version of you in Sugar. She’s so much like you in
so many ways but the only difference is she loves
me more than you do." She wanted to cry but
kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh.
How could he move on without her? Why was it
easy for him and not for her? As she got off the
car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she
felt her heart heavy. "I guess this is goodbye?" she
told "Wait, I’m not letting you out until you
answer question. Did Edward propose?" Bea
showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat
diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."
Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As
Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to
Bea’s face, he saw a single tear fall from her right
eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation.
Edward was the best version of you that I can find
in New York." DoN’t LEt gO tOo sOon bUt dON’t
HaNg On tOo lOnG when loving someone never
regret what u did … only regret what u never did ..
its not a matter of finding the right person … but
its
a matter of being the right person 4 the one u
choose to LOVE….

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The lost one


Written on September 11, 2007 – 11:48 pm | by aye-ssah

The lost one

Nothing broken.
But a lonely heart
Holds a token
Of a forgotten park
Its trees so lush
And shading sun
Dreaming of hugs
From the lost one

Clouds above
And sunny skies
Talking of love
And life’s old lies
Like who we were
and where we’ve been
I’m to her
What she’s to me

What you see
Is what you get
I don’t believe
I’ll give up yet
As long as you breathe
I’ll know love
Through open sea
And skies above

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love?????


Written on July 31, 2007 – 11:04 pm | by aye-ssah

iNLOVE ka ba or LOVE mo sya? kala ko dati pareho lang pero iba pala!! basahin para maliwanagan naman tayo. "It’s definitely different when you love someone and when you’re inlove with someone" explanation: alin nga ba ang mas malalim? Loving someone or Being in love with someone? marami sa atin ang na confuse tungkoldito. Ikaw ba ay may girlfriend o boyfriend ngayon? Mahal mo ba siya pero parang may isang tao na parang mahalaga din sayo. o may mahal ka na akala mo eh mahal mo nga siya pero meron ka pa rin isang tao na minamahal ng totoo. Kapag love mo ang isang tao masaya ka.. Feeling mo ok na ang lahat… pero ang ma-inlove ka, ang siyang pinakamasakit sa lahat! Kasi ang mga taong inlove ay ang mga taong ngsasakripisyo at ngpaparaya. Teka bakit ka nga ba ngpaparaya? Dahil ba hindi ka niya mahal o dahil hindi ka siguradong ok lang sa kanya? Kung yan ang dahilan mo, walang duda na inlove ka nga sa kanya. Kasi iniisip mo kung anong meron kayo sa ngayon ang tanging mahalaga at kontento ka na. Pero isipin mo paano kung mawala ang taong yon at talagang hindi na kayo mag-usap at magkita, kaya mo ba? Paano naman kung sayo siya inlove at ibinigay niya ang lahat para sayo pero hindi mo napahalagahan ang lahat ng ito kaagad! Paano kung isang araw naguluhan na siya sayo ng husto at maisipang lumayo na lang? Paano kung sa sobrang pagiging iba mo sa kanya di ka na niya kausapin at tuldukan na niya ng tuluyan kung ano na ang meron kayo? Then bigla mong na realize kung gaano ka importante sayo ang bawat isa kaya lang wala na siya! Kaya mo ba? Kung hindi ang sagot mo, malinaw na inlove ka nga… Paano naman pag mahal mo lang, kapag mahal mo lang, alam mo na palagi kang may choice, ayaw mo siyang mawala dahil alam mong wala kang ipapalit. Yung masaya ka sa kanya pero sa gabi hindi naman siya ang iniisip mo. Mahal mo siya pero aminado ka sa sarili mo na balang araw hindi siya ang pakakasalan mo. Mahal mo siya pero ang puso mo hindi lang pra sa kanya.. Mahal mo at masasaktan ka pagnawala siya pero alm mo na kaya mo yon. Ngayon anong nararamdaman mo ngayon: DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE or YOU’RE INLOVE WITH SOMEONE? Isang araw magigising ka na lang na INLOVE ka na nga pero kahit anong gawin mo ay huli na. Dahil maaaring yung taong INLOVE din sayo ay wala na pala. Tandaan mo: Masyadong mapaglaro ang puso huwag tayo magpaloko!!! We learn to love someone pero minsan lang dumating sa atin ang pagkakataong ma-inlove!!! Kaya kapag dumating ito, ano ang gagawin mo?

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!you’re an angel


Written on July 25, 2007 – 3:03 am | by aye-ssah

!You’re an angel that nobody can see,
Still, an angel is what you are to me.
An angel from heaven is what you are,
In my sky you’re definitely a heavenly star.

You’re an angel with beauty and grace,
You’re kind and sweet, you’ve an angel face.
You have very graceful angel wings.
Happiness, joy, and love are just some things,

That an angel can give, and to me you’ve given.
In my heart and on my mind, is where you’re livin’.
You have hair that is as soft as cotton.
A guardian angel is what I’ve gotten.

Your eyes are like sapphires that shine bright,
When everything is dark, you give me light.
You’re an angel that gives me a reason to live,
You’re the angel that teaches me to give.

You’re the angel that makes me live another day,
You’re the angel that teaches me the right things to say.
You’re my angel and you’ll always care,
You’re my angel and you know I’ll always be there

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endurance and loyalty


Written on July 25, 2007 – 3:01 am | by aye-ssah

Endurance and loyalty are twins of the willing spirit.  Without loyalty, endurance loses its meaning, and fades.  Without endurance, loyalty weakens and loses its way.

We set our own task in life, measured by who we are, what we value, and as we evolve as beings, as we accumulate insights from the hard lessons we must endure, we become stronger.

Our core must be resilient and clear of purpose, like the heart of a lion.  If we are strong and loyal, we will endure.  If we join together in our purpose, we will be loyal.  We are like the old parable of the bundle of sticks that, together, cannot be broken, while one stick alone is easily broken. 

And yet each of us is bound the fears and limits of the society we are born into.  We must use our spirits and brains to transcend those limits. 

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SAMSON……………


Written on July 22, 2007 – 12:39 am | by aye-ssah
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

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saying goodbye really hurts


Written on March 6, 2007 – 11:50 pm | by aye-ssah

today i learned a lesson
that will always be true
saying goodbye to someone
is the hardest thing to do

i’ve never felt a loss
until i said goodbye
i thought i was strong
and i broke down and cried

never will i forget
the times we had
though the reflections are happy
it makes me rather sad

the most brutal of men
cries at the past
i only wish
the good times would last

so i humor myself
i’d smile if i could
why can’t things work out?
because life isn’t supposed to be that good

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i only i cud….


Written on September 1, 2006 – 12:41 am | by aye-ssah

if only i cud turn back time, i’d never hurt you. i’d never let this happen. i wud always be by your side and make you happy. we wud always have that special moments together. if i could have you by my side today, i won’ make you cry. i would show you how much i love you. and i’ll make you feel special but now i can’t do that coz i know i’ve caused you so much pain.  SORRY POH. u can always come back.

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sorry!


Written on August 23, 2006 – 12:02 am | by aye-ssah

i just want to say sorry. u already know hu u r. bstah! sori sa lhat ng mga kgagahan at kbuangan koh! mishoo poh..yabyoo din!

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missing sum1….


Written on August 7, 2006 – 6:23 pm | by aye-ssah

ala lang…miss koh lang ung angel koh!!!!misss nah miss nah poh ktaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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